Talk up your own lines or be quiet.
Barbara’s rule
I was ten years old when Barbara Levitan taught me sportsmanship. There I was with Brady—a Grand Champion in under four shows—openly critical of some other cats.
Barbara leaned down—not far, because she was like 5'0"—and said, “If you can’t find something nice to say about a cat, be quiet. The people breeding and showing it know the flaws already.”
That stayed with me: find something nice about the cat or shut up.
The breeder already knows
Sportsmanship does not require blindness. Breeding requires unsentimental private judgment about structure, temperament, health, fertility, maternal behavior, and what the next generation needs. Showing is public evaluation. Neither one requires public contempt.
The people breeding and showing the cat usually know where it is weak. If they do not, casual sniping will not teach them. If they do, you are not supplying information. You are performing superiority for whoever happens to be listening.
Useful criticism is specific, supported, and delivered to someone who can act on it. Badmouthing is social currency. The cat gets nothing from it.
Move on
In 2025, I put the same rule more directly:
If you contact a breeder, and all they can talk about is how bad everyone else’s cats are, and how other breeders are idiots? Move on. That was weak in junior high and it’s double weak from alleged adults.
A breeder should be able to explain what they value, why they made a pairing, what their cats do well, where the uncertainty lies, and what the record actually shows. If the affirmative case for the program is merely an indictment of every competitor, there probably is not much of an affirmative case.
Talk up your own lines or be quiet.
Things get back to people
One “legendary” breeder once suggested to a prospective kitten family that my cats had bad color. Things get back to people. Never bad-mouth another breeder. It is manifestly poor sportsmanship and tacky in the bargain.
That does not mean concealing health problems, dishonest claims, unsafe practices, or material information a family or another breeder needs. Health and genetic information should be shared. A documented welfare concern is not gossip merely because the truth is unpleasant.
The distinction is purpose. Are you giving somebody accurate information needed to protect a cat or make a decision? Or are you making yourself taller by cutting somebody else down?
Judgment does not require humiliation
A judge once said Charm’s coat was “nothing to write home about.” I do not remember every win, but I remember every insult. Charm later proved worth more to me than a dozen Grand Champions because she would nurse anybody’s kittens.
A judge has to compare cats and make decisions. A breeder has to identify faults and decide what not to repeat. Precision is part of the work. Gratuitous contempt is not.
The cat fancy keeps wondering why clubs fold, entries shrink, and new exhibitors do not stay. A small community cannot live indefinitely on gossip, status anxiety, and public humiliation. It needs standards. It also needs people willing to help the novice in the next benching row.
Sportsmanship is more than silence
Barbara did more than tell me when to keep my mouth shut. She mentored my mother. She defended the Stalcup children when four kids and a VW bus offended somebody’s idea of show-hall decorum. After Brady died, she opened her kitten room and told me to choose a kitten because she could not replace him but wanted me to have one.
That is the affirmative side of sportsmanship: mentorship, generosity, honest competition, and remembering that the person across the aisle will be there after the ribbons are packed away.
Find something nice about the cat. If there is something important to say, say it accurately and for a reason. Otherwise, shut up.